He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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