Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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