yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
