My entire life is one complicated drinking game
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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