Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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