with your own penis?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Randomize
