yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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