Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
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Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
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Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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