So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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