just come out here and I will go home with you...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
