just tell him i said nine months
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
