weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize