dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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