What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
