yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
