another moral hangover. fuck.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
