I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
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You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
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Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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