It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
