I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
