We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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