So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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