I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
