If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
