dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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