just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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