After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
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Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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