why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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