just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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