apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
