tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
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Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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