does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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