when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize