I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize