I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
