I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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