it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
