Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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