Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
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Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize