I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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