Where are you?
In a non slutty way
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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