Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
