I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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