dude i'm inner monologue high
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
