this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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