I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
