ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
