Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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