Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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