we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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