Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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