fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Everyone says I win the strip club
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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