i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You don't make any sense
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