I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
