I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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