Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
